Episode 19: So jealous

This week, we have a really open and honest conversation about jealousy and friendship. We’ll be talking more on our blog about this all week, so check back! In the meantime, you can listen here, or get Marginally on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever get your podcasts.

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Theme music is “It’s Time” by Scaricá Ricascá.

Have a question you’d like us to try to answer, or a topic you’d love to have us cover? Interested in being a guest? Contact us here.Thanks for listening, and keep up the good work!


What we’re jealous of
  • Each others’ schedules (flexibility vs. structure)
  • Morning people
  • Those with good memories
  • Those who write fast
  • People who don’t get sick

Tips for dealing with jealousy

Make a list of everything you’re jealous of. Sometimes seeing it all down in one place helps you realize patterns and deeper things you want to change about your own life. It can also just make it easier to laugh at how absurd jealousy can be in the first place!

Just sit with the feeling for a little bit. Acknowledging the emotion — as Olivia says, emotions are facts, so there’s no point denying them — can help you move past it and make it less powerful.

Ask yourself why you’re jealous of a person or situation. Then, ask why again, and again, until you start to get a better idea of the deeper feelings behind your jealousy.

Mentioned in this episode

Sending voice memos. We just record them on our phones and text them back and forth, but there are services — Voxer is one — that you could use, if that seems to make it easier.

Meghan’s day job (and Olivia’s) are discussed way back in Episode 2

On keeping a diary to help with distraction and procrastination — Meghan can’t actually remember where she heard this, but it was on a podcast. She’ll find it, but if anyone else knows what writer starts a new diary with each novel, please share! Maybe Elizabeth George? Maybe Joyce Carol Oates? In the meantime, here are a few writers talking about keeping diaries.

Olivia does something similar when she uses the internet blocking app Freedom – she writes down the things that are threatening to distract her (most of the time, they’re nonsense when she looks at them later – just ways her brain is trying to sabotage her writing!)

Conversation with Divya in Episode 14

Zen Habits by Leo Babauta’s tips for dealing with anger

Olivia’s blog post about Roxane Gay’s column about whether it’s too late to follow writing dreams

And, finally, our January writing prompt, which is this:

Send us your responses, and we may choose you to receive some fun writing mail! Also, bonus Tegan and Sara.